The School Teddy – A Rant

Its not often I use my blog to rant but I feel I’m justified on this occasion. Most parents of school age children will recognise this scenario…

You are standing on the playground waiting for school to kick out (invariably it is raining as it always seem to do at 3.20PM but that’s a different story). Out comes your child with a huge grin waiving an inanimate object in your face. Huge delight ahead, we have the school frickin bear!

Who on earth decided that taking a manky, dirt ridden, germ infested, piece of tat home for the night was a good idea and in the slightest bit educational? Let me tell you teachers, its not educational in the slightest. There’s not a parent alive that relishes writing a diary about what your sodding bear has done over the weekend. Let’s be honest, its normally 8PM on Sunday night when we remember to read out what our little one needs to write in the diary.

Some things to remember about the school bear …

  • Teachers, ¬†you may think you are being helpful suggesting we might like to add photos or drawings of Bear’s activities into the diary but we truly have better things to do.
  • Parents, even if you feed your little ones 3 bags of crisps for their tea, don’t write it in the diary. Other parents will judge. Equally, if you had fois-gras and homemade profiteroles for a meal, other parents will hate you.
  • School bears should NEVER EVER be allowed in your little one’s bed – I hate to picture how many have been vomitted on/passed on nits.
  • Parents again … on the day you are giving bear back, do NOT decide it is Bear’s birthday. The next recipient will not appreciate being manipulated into holding a birthday party for it.
  • Check if manky Bear makes a sound BEFORE you wash it! (Cara Freckles anyone?!)

Yep, guess what Violet came out of school sporting yesterday?! Not only do we have the pleasure of a weekend but its sodding half term. Well, school Bear is going to have an education all of its own … it’s coming on a girlie weekend to Harrogate where it might indulge in the odd gin. Watch this space for photographic evidence that may or may not be suitable for including in it’s diary!