Parenting -

How do you tell your child off?

By Helen | June 5, 2013 - 8:42 pm | Casa Costello, Children, Family, Parenting

I hate telling my children off. Really really hate it. Not just because it forces me to admit that sometimes they aren’t the little angels they try to convince me they are. Because I’m never quite sure if I’m doing it right.

Is there a right or wrong way to tell your child off? How do you know if you’ve got the tone right? I’m not talking about the times when it’s really serious and instinct just takes over and you really really need to let them know how serious something is. Like the time my 6yo decided to run into a main road after her ball. Still gives me shivers.

I’m talking about the incidents that you want them to know that they have done wrong, you are really peed off and brassed off that they have done it. I have girls that cry quite easily when they are told off. It always makes me wonder if I’ve overdone it when the tears arrive or whether that is just how they are.

I had an incident today when I really needed to show our 7yo how her behaviour must change. What she is doing isn’t terribly naughty but it isn’t doing her any favours. I had to try to tell her in front of her teacher. Oh the pressure! Do I blast her and make the teacher think I’m not to be messed with? Er no. Do I chicken out and say ill speak with her at home? Er no again, I wanted her to know both the teacher and I agree.

I have to admit I did chicken out a bit and threaten her with wait until I tell your Dad. That’s hilarious- he’s no more scary than me.

I thought I was doing fairly well and then the killer moment came. The little hand that slipped into mine and my heart melted.

So I’m none the wiser. Is shouting considered the correct way or are you losing control if you raise your voice?

If they promise never to do the act again, have you achieved what you set out do?

How do other parents do it? How do you know you are being serious enough? Where did you learn to discipline your children? They certainly never covered this in ante-natal classes!

A Prayer for Madeleine – 6 years on

By Helen | May 12, 2013 - 9:00 am | Children, Miscellaneous, Parenting

2 Comments

Today I will be saying a prayer. I won’t be alone in saying a prayer – I’m hoping that all around the world, people will be praying and hoping for the safe return of a very special little girl.

A little girl who turns 10 today and that 6 horrible years ago went missing whilst on holiday in Portugal. A beautiful little girl that should be with her family now, should be in year 5 of school enjoying being one of the biggest in the school, should be enjoying teaching her little sister and brother about what is cool (and what isn’t).

I’m sure there’s not a mother alive, who knows about Madeleine, that doesn’t wish as much as I do, that she is found safe and sound and returned to her family. What that family continue to go through is just unimaginable. 2 year ago, I went to a mass at my local church where Madeleine’s grandparents talked about her and the family – It would take a heartless soul not to be affected by how much she is missed.

The case of the 3 women found in America this week must give hope that this can still be possible.

There’s a huge community of bloggers who are uniting today to keep Madeleine in everyone’s minds and prayers. On Madeleine’s 10th birthday, we are trying to do everything possible to refresh people to keep their eyes open and spread the word that Madeleine is still missing.

There is so much we can do:

Put the campaign posters up – in the backs of cars, in shops, in workplaces
Use the bookmarks – if you lose bookmarks as often as I do, it might just be the time that the right person picks it up.
Use luggage tags – We must keep people in every country looking for her
Keep talking about Madeleine – tell our children, be on the lookout
Keep RTing, forwarding information on, share FB posts to keep her in the news
Keep up to date with news about Madeleine and the campaign – I follow the Official Find Madeleine Campaign on Facebook which is updated regularly by her family.
Keep saying your prayers – whoever you pray to, whatever faith you are – it can’t do any harm but can do so much good.

Feeding the 5000 or Our Top 5 Tips for Getting The Kids To Eat Their Lunch

By Helen | April 22, 2013 - 4:59 pm | Children, Miscellaneous, Parenting

March Reads – What have you been reading?

By Helen | April 15, 2013 - 7:12 am | Book review, Parenting, Violet

2 Comments

Another busy old month here but still no sign of the reading slowing down. It seems to be catching too, one at least 2 occasions last week I found both M & V sitting reading quietly WITHOUT BEING TOLD TO! Hurray!

I seem to have reverted back to reading ‘proper’ books as opposed to my Kindle but as I’m trying to reduce some of the piles of books around the place, this is no bad thing. I’m even going old school and reading library books once more. Is there anything better than leaving the library with armfuls of books – the ultimate in reading hope. The challenge for me is taking them back before the fines cost more than it would have to buy the actual books.

So what has been on the reading agenda this month?

One that I forgot to mention (and I’m not sure how because I was completely engrossed in this story) was The Girl You Left Behind by Jojo Moyes. I read my first Jojo Moyes, Me Before You last year in France and knew I had to read another. The Girl You Left Behind was very different than Me Before You and even better in a lot of ways. The story was much more involved and switched easily between current day and WWII.

The story of a piece of artwork that finds its way to England after the Second World War and the legal battle that ensues to find its rightful owner. The story of the painting begins in France in 1916 with a family living with effects of German occupation. I completely fell in love with the character of Sophie who literally does everything she can think of to save her family. This was definitely a book I was sad to finish. A rare easy 5 stars.

I have seen my next read hanging around various shops and picked it up on a whim – After The Fall by Charity Norman

About a family who move from the UK to Australia to escape the demons of the father’s drink problem but end up in much deeper trouble. An easy read but one that hooked me straightaway. For the few days it took to read this book, I was mentally living a life in Australia – its just a good job my passport was nowhere to hand.

A young boy falls from the balcony of a house, the story then looks at the events that lead up to this fall. It wasn’t obvious who it could have been responsible although I did guess about 3/4 way through – I’m not telling though. Its definitely worth a read to find out yourself. PS In case you are a bit squeamish about children getting injured like me, don’t worry, its bearable to read. 4 out of 5 stars.

A Modern Military Mother: Tales From The Domestic Frontline by Clare McNaughton- Since meeting Andy Reid at the beginning of the year and devouring his book, Standing Tall, I’ve become really interested in life as part of the military. My friend, Liz, a military wife herself must be sick of all the questions by now (but much too polite to say). This is definitely a ‘no holds barred’ account of Clare’s life married to a member of the Armed Forces (I’m finding it really hard not to spout cliches describing Clare and her book here). If you want brutally honest, witty, and quite frankly very realistic, then this is the book for you. I loved the sections about learning to readjust with each other after a period apart – how refreshing that it isn’t always immediately romance and flowers. Clare is self-promoting this book and working damn hard at doing so – I encourage you to have a gander. A 4 out of 5 stars only because I wanted more – I finished it far too quickly. Good news though, I have heard on the grapevine that a sequel is planned.

The Two-Week Wait by Sarah Rayner. Not at all sure what possessed me to pick up a book about fertility problems and the workings of IVF. Luckily, I’ve never had to consider fertility treatment but it doesn’t mean that the subject wasn’t interesting. 2 couples embark on the ups and downs of IVF – I won’t spoil it by telling you the outcome. An easy read – I did want to find out how they got on. The author has obviously got a lot of knowledge regarding IVF which was interesting to read without being too medical. A generous 4 stars here (looking back maybe more like a 3.5)

Alone in Berlin by Hans Fellada.
Every now and then comes along a book that I wish I enjoyed more than I did. The failings of this book are definitely mine and not the story or the author. Alone in Berlin is also known as Every Man Dies Alone – Set in Germany during the Second World War, a couple set out to challenge Hitler’s reign by anonymously dropping postcards with anti-war messages on them. I loved the idea of the story (which is based on a true story), there was just so much detail for me and the book was incredibly long. About 100 pages in, I felt a surge as I seemed to speed up and thought, hey, we’re into it now. Sadly this didn’t last for me and I felt I was wading through some sections – In the book’s defence though, I do know that it is possible to read this book quickly in a couple of days. A 3 out of 5 for this book but please do read other reviews as they are so much more favourable than mine.

In other book news, Violet and myself are nearing the end of ‘The Wishing Chair Again’ by Enid Blyton. It is a complete joy to read these books with her – we have started having lengthly chats about the characters, these are some of my favourite parenting moments so far. We even found the Wishing Chair in one of our favourite pubs, The Britannia at Elterwater last week – of course, we were the only ones that knew it was the Wishing Chair!

All images have been taken from Amazon where the books are available to download and buy.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

By Helen | October 23, 2012 - 12:17 am | Children, Parenting

1 Comment

Its a question I’ve asked myself for many years. I may be knocking on the door of 40 *weeps* but I still feel I haven’t settled on my true vocation. Even though I have stopped work for now to look after Baby T (and am completely loving it by the way!), it doesn’t stop me from thinking about what career choices lie in front of me. Its fair to say I’ve had some crappy jobs (Assistant Manager at a well known burger chain anyone?) so I know what I don’t want to do but I can’t say I’m 100% decided on any one profession.

I sort of ended up working with food but it has certainly opened doors up for me. I get involved with some brilliant projects, get to eat my work and am never short of something new to try. I may one day go back to cake-making but probably not to the extent that I was prior to having T. I will still have 3 young children for a number of years and when the time comes to look to go back to work, I want something that will be interesting, challenging but won’t occupy my brain 24 hours every day. Food technology sounds really interesting to me with a view to maybe going on to teach the subject (strictly adult learning only for me though!) Click here to find out more about working in Food Technology.

I know that my girls have got a number of years yet before they need to start thinking about what they want to be but I do know that I want to be able to offer them as much choice as possible and have as much information available to them. It must be easier in some ways if you know what you want to be when you grow up and can work towards it. Then again, if you have your heart set on a particular career path but don’t achieve the grades, the disappointment must be terrible.

What about you? Did you always know what you wanted to be? I think about Juju, a friend from Derby who is setting up her cake company and wonder if it is what she always wanted to do. Or Janine, who is embarking on a very exciting time opening up her own coffee shop. I’m really interested how people end up being in their particular career. For some, like my friend Wendy, it has been a life long ambition to become a doctor but how do others with less defined roles, end up in their jobs?

The School Teddy – A Rant

By Helen | October 20, 2012 - 12:31 am | Casa Costello, Children, Parenting, Violet

5 Comments

Its not often I use my blog to rant but I feel I’m justified on this occasion. Most parents of school age children will recognise this scenario…

You are standing on the playground waiting for school to kick out (invariably it is raining as it always seem to do at 3.20PM but that’s a different story). Out comes your child with a huge grin waiving an inanimate object in your face. Huge delight ahead, we have the school frickin bear!

Who on earth decided that taking a manky, dirt ridden, germ infested, piece of tat home for the night was a good idea and in the slightest bit educational? Let me tell you teachers, its not educational in the slightest. There’s not a parent alive that relishes writing a diary about what your sodding bear has done over the weekend. Let’s be honest, its normally 8PM on Sunday night when we remember to read out what our little one needs to write in the diary.

Some things to remember about the school bear …

Teachers, you may think you are being helpful suggesting we might like to add photos or drawings of Bear’s activities into the diary but we truly have better things to do.
Parents, even if you feed your little ones 3 bags of crisps for their tea, don’t write it in the diary. Other parents will judge. Equally, if you had fois-gras and homemade profiteroles for a meal, other parents will hate you.
School bears should NEVER EVER be allowed in your little one’s bed – I hate to picture how many have been vomitted on/passed on nits.
Parents again … on the day you are giving bear back, do NOT decide it is Bear’s birthday. The next recipient will not appreciate being manipulated into holding a birthday party for it.
Check if manky Bear makes a sound BEFORE you wash it! (Cara Freckles anyone?!)

Yep, guess what Violet came out of school sporting yesterday?! Not only do we have the pleasure of a weekend but its sodding half term. Well, school Bear is going to have an education all of its own … it’s coming on a girlie weekend to Harrogate where it might indulge in the odd gin. Watch this space for photographic evidence that may or may not be suitable for including in it’s diary!

Going away without Mum and Dad

By Helen | October 2, 2012 - 12:49 am | Children, Millie, Parenting

2 Comments

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about how quickly the Costello girls are growing up. Those reminders just keep coming thick and fast at the moment. Tomorrow is the Open Evening for the High School that we hope M will attend. How did I get so old, so quickly? I know that a lot of teachers that taught me (and Mr Costello) are still there so part of me is a little bit quibbly about going back into the school, even though I liked school.

But that isn’t the biggest event happening in M’s life this month. Oh no, we can go one bigger – she is going to stay in a hotel without us, in a room with 2 other girls. Eek! It is part of a synchronised swimming competition in Glasgow where the team have to stay together and the parents aren’t allowed in the same hotel. M is a teeny bit nervous, if I am honest, so am I, but my sensible head knows that it will be a fantastic experience for her and she will have a ball.

It has brought back memories of when I went on my first trip away, without my family. A school trip in year 8/9 to London. We did the usual sightseeing tours around London but what really sticks in my mind is the staying in a room with 3 other friends and the fact that school arranged for us to have tickets for the Mousetrap. The Agatha Christie production that is the world’s longest running theatre show. Even at the time, we realised that this was something special – the fact that it is still running now, a couple of years *cough* later is amazing. I’d love for my girls to have the experience of seeing it.

The trip lasted for 3 days, and I remember how exhausted we were each night but what a special bond the 4 of us sharing that room had. We are now approaching 40 and still talk about that trip. There were other girls that chose not to come on the visit to London, I wonder if they ever regretted it and if they would chose differently for their children?

And so, we start to get prepared for a new chapter in M’s life. We would love for her to be sharing our room in our hotel, but we are going to have to be brave and let her be free and start her journey into growing up. Sniff!

When a family gets crafty, we get a craft room!

By Helen | August 27, 2012 - 1:23 pm | Children, Crafts, Parenting, Synchronised Swimming

A Wet Weekend

By Helen | June 23, 2012 - 10:41 pm | Casa Costello, Children, Millie, Parenting, Synchronised Swimming

4 Comments

A bit of an update on the Great Swimming weekend … You may remember from this post, that this was the weekend that hubby and middle sister were due to compete in The Great North Swim in Windermere.

Mother Nature obviously had other ideas and yesterday gave us weather more like November than June. People were talking about a month’s worth of rain in one day – all I know is, I got soaking and freezing about 15 times. About 2PM, we heard that the Friday swim had been cancelled but the Saturday waves were still going ahead. I have to admit the thought of heading up to The Lakes in torrential rain and 40MPH gusts in a caravan didn’t exactly appeal to me or OH. Our main worry was, what were Vi and Baby T going to do in that weather (Baby T is STILL not walking and muddy, rainy grass wouldn’t stop her wanting to crawl) So, imagine the relief when at 4.45PM I got an email saying all Saturday’s swims had been cancelled – Phew!The competition is still on between Maz and Derm – we still don’t know who would have won. Watch this space!!!

This meant that all 5 of us Costellos could head over to Manchester Aquatic Centre today to watch Millie in her first Cheshire County Synchro Comp. I’d been watching for nerves all day but the going was good and she was giddy with excitement.

Before we set out, I had to set to on THE HAIR! Don’t know if you know, but synchronised swimmers paint gelatin on their hair before each swim and it sets rock hard. Its one of the worst jobs I ever had to do and gets everywhere. We were brave and added a bit of glitter to ours for extra sparkle.

I’m not going to bore you too much but I will tell you that she got some medals. She absolutely loved the day and it was so lovely to hear all the girls cheering each other on. I’ve never seen as much sparkle and sequins. (I stayed up late last night sewing sequins on a headdress that I couldn’t even remember seeing her wear today!) We have to work on the nerves but the main thing is, she enjoyed herself and she’s got yet more medals to take into school assembly on Wednesday.

Our day wasn’t quite finished at that point though. When we got home we had to get the gelatin out of Mil’s hair (really hot shower – we’ll do it at the baths next time!). We were also greeted by a lovely blocked drain – as we were leaving the house in an almighty rush this morning, I poured the pan of gelatin down the sink by mistake. Here’s a beautiful pic of where it collected and solidified – you learn something new every day! Sorry, I promise never to show you any pics of blocked sinks ever again.

With one of her 3 medals - Well Done Millie!

Aardvark Cakes – The End of an Era

By Helen | June 11, 2012 - 10:28 pm | Aardvark Cakes, Cake, Casa Costello, Children, Miscellaneous, Parenting

18 Comments

Things are changing at Casa Costello – after 6 years of business, Aardvark Cakes is taking an indefinite break. As of July 2012, no more orders will be taken and Baby T will no longer go to nursery. I have decided to enjoy my time with Tara instead of concentrating on business until at least she starts pre-school in a couple of years.

What has prompted this decision?
It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I’m really lucky to have constant orders but the amount of cakes I have to take on to make it worthwhile paying for nursery mean that I could not confine my working week to the 2 days Tara was there. Most cake decorators will know that your evenings and weekends are constantly taken up with cakes, early nights are very rare and family life just seemed to suffer.
I still love doing cakes but recently I have felt tied to only being able to keep up with orders instead of enjoying creating different and exciting cakes. I never want to be a standard cake decorator – I want to be the best and with the time I have available, I just wasn’t able to do anything different.

What does it mean for the blog? Will I still be baking?
Of course, I will – I think it is in my blood now. I’m looking forward to experimenting with new creations and recipes but it will mean that the 3 tier works of art might be few and far between. If I feel like making a Gruffalo in my spare time, I will and I will enjoy doing it for me/us rather than for a specific order. I still want to get involved with baking projects - Dermot has even joked about me entering next year’s Great British Bake Off (I think he was joking!?)

Will I restart the business once all the children are at school?
Maybe, maybe not. I really don’t know – I am expecting to miss some of the business side but I don’t know whether I will want to try something different. Time will tell. I do want to carry on with my arty, crafty side and learn new skills though.

What plans have I got?
There are loads of things I intend on doing …

Teaching my children to cook (and make cakes)
Making playdoh – I’ve never done it and I feel like I’ve missed out
Enjoying playing with the kids and spending lots of time outside
Spending time with my friends whilst not worrying about meeting cake deadlines
Carrying on learning new crafts – my new sewing machine is looking far too immaculate
I love being involved with our new WI and want to make it as good as can be.

Am I sad or excited about the decision?

I’m really happy to be honest. It feels exciting that I am lucky enough to be able to spend these precious years with my 3. It has been sad telling certain people and some reactions have been lovely. The hardest was telling nursery that T wouldn’t be there after July as we and she love it but she will be back in pre-school.

So thank you everyone for your custom and support over the past 6 years of Aardvark Cakes’ life – Its been wonderful and I’ve met some lovely people. Its not the end, just a new chapter in the life of the Costellos – and its going to be great!