I hate telling my children off. Really really hate it. Not just because it forces me to admit that sometimes they aren’t the little angels they try to convince me they are. Because I’m never quite sure if I’m doing it right.
Is there a right or wrong way to tell your child off? How do you know if you’ve got the tone right? I’m not talking about the times when it’s really serious and instinct just takes over and you really really need to let them know how serious something is. Like the time my 6yo decided to run into a main road after her ball. Still gives me shivers.
I’m talking about the incidents that you want them to know that they have done wrong, you are really peed off and brassed off that they have done it. I have girls that cry quite easily when they are told off. It always makes me wonder if I’ve overdone it when the tears arrive or whether that is just how they are.
I had an incident today when I really needed to show our 7yo how her behaviour must change. What she is doing isn’t terribly naughty but it isn’t doing her any favours. I had to try to tell her in front of her teacher. Oh the pressure! Do I blast her and make the teacher think I’m not to be messed with? Er no. Do I chicken out and say ill speak with her at home? Er no again, I wanted her to know both the teacher and I agree.
I have to admit I did chicken out a bit and threaten her with wait until I tell your Dad. That’s hilarious- he’s no more scary than me.
I thought I was doing fairly well and then the killer moment came. The little hand that slipped into mine and my heart melted.
So I’m none the wiser. Is shouting considered the correct way or are you losing control if you raise your voice?
If they promise never to do the act again, have you achieved what you set out do?
How do other parents do it? How do you know you are being serious enough? Where did you learn to discipline your children? They certainly never covered this in ante-natal classes!